After years of dating and countless romantic encounters, Becky Shaw is ready to use her knowledge for good. We’re happy to share the first installment of her new dating advice column, ASK BECKY, where this love aficionado will help you, the readers, sift through love & relationships — the good, the bad, and the very ugly.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years now, but things seem to be stalling. I know he loves me, we live in a beautiful apartment together, and he’s definitely committed to our relationship. Trouble is, he just won’t pop the question! I’ve tried dropping hints, but he doesn’t seem to get it. Even when we go to friends’ weddings, he’s completely oblivious to what I think are pretty blatant “signs” it’s our time to make Us official.
What should I do to make commit?
-Sick of being single
Hello, Sick of Being Single!
Thanks for writing into the very first edition of ‘Ask Becky!’ It’s an honor to share my dating tips & tricks with you!
In my experience, a lack of commitment is often tied to a lack of romance.
I’ll paint the picture: When you first met, it was fireworks all the time. Romantic walks by the water, classy French dinners, surprise flowers on your desk at work each morning, calls just to say “I love you” in the middle the day. Now, things have slowed down, and your date nights look like takeout on the couch, binging on Netflix, and maybe taking your pup for a walk (though most of the time, it’s just you going out, on your own, despite multiple signs that you’d “really love some company!”). Sound familiar?
The important thing to remember, Sick of Being Single, is that this is not your fault. Plenty of couples go through dry patches. In fact, I think it’s all too common in LTRs that both parties can become a little too… comfortable.
But it is in your power to change the situation. And if romance is the missing piece in your relationship (and what is ultimately preventing your BF from committing) then it’s time to turn up the heat. Literally!
Science proves that when we sweat we release what’s called pheromones into the atmosphere — basically small amounts of our natural scent starts to fill up a room, and because sweating it tied to a particular physical activity… it activates the part of our brains that think about sex! I know. It sounds so gross! But believe me, it actually turns men on.
So. When Your Man if not looking, kick that thermostat up just a few degrees (not so many that he notices, but enough to give the desired effect). Notice both of your foreheads get a little shiny, slip into something NOT comfortable, and watch what happens. I promise you, he’ll definitely start to notice those hints you’ve been dropping…
Happy sweating (and committing)!
Astrological corner: Hey Virgos! You’re in a for a treat this week: seems like all your orbits are comingling and your moons rising at the same rate which means… time to ask for that raise! You’ve been working your tail off all year, maximizing your people skills, and doing it all with your signature flair; you deserve it and Venus is in your corner — so just go ahead and ask. The worst they can do is lean on the patriarchy in which case F-C-U-K them!
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